


Clean Your Office Dunkass

by neuflie



Category: Portal, Portal 2
Genre: HUMAN AUUUU, M/M, also im very creative with titles, hehehehee, in offices, obviously, seriously go into any fic and look at the kudos i guarantee you will see neuflie, the factventure tag has been dry for literally years ive read eveyr fic in there at least twice, warning they are more developed OC's and mostly based off of fact and rick!!!!!!!!!, yeah at their jobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 11:03:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17344121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neuflie/pseuds/neuflie
Summary: Rick tries to get Francis to clean his office for once in his life. It kinda works, too.(a human AU in the Aperture Offices, where Francis Craig is a sort of OC based heavily off of the Fact Core, and a little pink bitch! for the longest time ive been trying to think of what i could upload to AO3 and i know my writing isn't the best so any and all CC is very much welcome!!! i have a couple more random scene drabbles like this with these two so please let me know if you want to see them! also this is unbeta'd please point out any mistakes)





	Clean Your Office Dunkass

Francis had no trouble admitting his own erroneous claims, not at all. In fact, he did it all the time. Because he was a good person. Everybody loves Francis, the considerate, sweet, cute and fun scientist who was the most outgoing person anyone’s ever met. He enjoyed going out and partying with his diverse and extensive crowd of friends who just loved to spend time with him.

 

Well, at least he liked to believe.

 

_ I have lots of friends. Lots of people who love me. They want me around! All they want to do is be around me, honestly, sometimes it’s kind of tiring, you know, how much people just want me,  _ Francis thought, smirking to himself over his cup of almost-gone and possibly-cold coffee and swiveling back and forth in his chair.  _ I’m wonderful. _

 

But then there was a knock on his door, and he jolted (thankful that the mug was indeed, not full), spinning. It was then when he realized that his office was absurdly dark, with his lights off and his blinds and door closed. He heard the knock again and grimaced. He didn’t mean to grimace, in fact, he would rather have smiled, because he knew it was Rick knocking... Sometimes, he forgot he was alone and secure here.

 

He placed his coffee cup gingerly on his desk and rose from his chair to flip the light switch by the door and cringe away, before decidedly flicking the lights back off and cracking open the door like he did every time Rick wanted to come in.

 

“Jus’ me, pinkie. Lemmie in, will ya?” he glanced up at the toothy, stubbly smile and fought down his own, deciding to instead sigh and back away from the door just enough to allow Rick through, who ungracefully stepped in and walked to the back of Francis’ office to grab a stool (with one hand, which Francis thought was ridiculous, because he himself couldn’t even lift it with two) and bring it up next to Francis’ chair like he always did.

 

Francis had finished locking the door back up and turned to walk back to his chair, tug it away from Rick, and slide down into it, raising an eyebrow at said guest before spinning with a soft excuse including something about all the work he had to do. Rick just scoffed in response.

 

“Yeah, sure, like you’re always so busy,” Rick smiled, causing Francis to shake his head, “you know, I could use some help once in a while. Ah, yeah, speakin’ of help, that’s jus’ what I came in here for.” finished Rick, letting his eyes wander around the office, swiveling on his own stool.

 

“Is that so?” quipped Francis softly, reaching for a stack of papers in the corner of his desk (making Rick smile to himself, because Francis had to lean out of his chair and over his desk to grab it) and tapping them against the table to align them before placing them down in front of him. “And what might that be?”

 

“Oh, me? Nah, I came here to help  _ you _ ,” Rick smiled, and Francis turned to deadpan.

 

“Excuse me? Help  _ me? _ I don’t need any help.” 

 

This time, it was Rick’s turn to deadpan, as he gave one sweeping look around his office and turned to Francis, who seemed as though he was quite literally bristling.

 

“You-! I-! How rude! You come in here just to gripe about my office- which, I’ll have you know, perfectly suits my needs and I wouldn’t have it any other way-!” Francis shrieked, his voice somehow becoming more shrill throughout his sentence. Rick didn’t let the smile leave his face.

 

“Yeah, I know, I know, only jokin’, sweet cheeks,” grinned Rick, closing his eyes and waving a hand before him.

 

“What did you call me-?” shrieked Francis.

 

“I don’t need to repeat myself, I know you heard me,” purred Rick, reaching up to give his own chin the tiniest little scratch. Francis knew that was the tic he had that only showed itself when he was flirty.  _ Scritch scritch. _

 

Francis’ lip quivered and his eye twitched and he frantically looked over Rick’s face before he huffed, shoulders lowering. Rick chittered softly.

 

“Well, actually, I wasn’t jokin’. France, I know you, well, actually. And I  _ know _ you could be just a  _ li’l _ more proficient with work if you… Well… Tidied up a l’il,” said Rick seriously, unconsciously adjusting his posture.

 

“Um… No, I don’t want to. Is that all you wanted to say? When are you leaving.” Francis grumbled as he turned back towards his desk, eyes downcast at the stack of completed papers he’d placed before himself to make it seem like he had something to do. “Go away,” added Francis in a sing-song voice when he noticed Rick hadn’t moved at all.

 

“Nah, we’re gonna. Together! Y’aint gotta do it all yourself- let me help ya out once in a while, Rosey,” said Rick, leaning closer and smiling. His breath wasn’t unpleasant, but it was hot, and tickling Francis’ neck and it seemed to be jamming some systems or something, because Francis was definitely malfunctioning.

 

“U-Um, no! My office, my rules… Fuck off…” he spluttered, trying to scoot away even though he so desperately didn’t want to. Rick huffed and leaned back to sit up straight with a pensive face.

 

“Alrighty, well, you don’t gotta do anything then. I just hate to see you workin’ in here. It’s so messy,” he muttered. “I’ll leave you be, then, I guess.”

 

Just as Rick started to leave, there was a little wail from behind him. The corners of Rick’s mouth perked upwards.

 

“Fine, asshole!”

 

“I knew you couldn’t say no. Shall we?”

**Author's Note:**

> thank u so much for reading this has just been saved as "factventure 2" in my docs for like a good 6 months now also happy new year! please let me know what you thought, if you want more and if you have any constructive criticism!!! id love to hear it


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